Resident Evil : Raccoon City Is back!
by ZenHideki
Summary: A crossover between Final Fantasy and Resident Evil. The adventure starts after Jill knew Raccoon City is back...
1. Chapter 1 - Raccoon City is back.

RESIDENT EVIL and FINAL FANTASY  
  
CHAPTER 1: RACCOON CITY IS BACK.  
  
It's about 2 years, 2 months, 12 days and 3 hours after the cursed Raccoon City had been wiped out from this polluted world. Jill and Carlos lived together (but not married yet) at Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. They lived happily together.  
  
One day, while Jill was head banging her head for no reason, she heard the 'CNN' news on the TV said that the President rebuilt the cursed Raccoon City back. The city had officially opened last month by the President. Jill was surprised and smashed her head at a glass table because she was very disappointed with the President.  
  
Her neighbors, AK, Jeb and Bal heard a "Prang!" sound (the sound of the broken glass that was smashed by Jill). They rushed to Jill's house and crashed the solid metal, bulletproof door to get in the house. They saw Jill was crying loudly. She said 'Shit!' for 27 times rapidly.  
  
AK: Was she sick? She looks scary!  
  
Jeb: I'm not sure about it but I'm sure that there was something that makes her crazy.  
  
Bal: Her head was bleeding badly! Come and help her!  
  
AK: A big piece of glass was stuck in her head!  
  
Bal: Oh no, she looks great!  
  
  
  
'Pang! Pong!' Jeb kicked AK and Bal's asses till its bleed.  
  
  
  
Jeb: Stop bluffing around! Help her now! Call the ambulance now!  
  
AK: Affirmative!  
  
  
  
After 5 minutes and 23 seconds, the ambulance came. At the hospital, Jill said 'Shit!' for 907 times.  
  
AK: Does she have a problem?  
  
Jeb: Maybe…  
  
AK: I think we better call Carlos!  
  
Jeb: That's a good idea.  
  
AK picked up his 'NOKIA 8350 the Butterfly Shaped' hand phone and called Carlos.  
  
  
  
AK: Hello, Carlos! Jill was not so good now, she's now at Damai Service Hospital Taman Melawati, and she needs you!  
  
"Du, du, du…." The telephone engaged.  
  
AK: OK… That was strange…  
  
Suddenly, there was a blue portal (some kind like that) appeared in front of them. The portal sucked all of them (like a vacuum) included Jill and some beautiful nurses. Oh I forgot, and an old doctor too.  
  
AK: Hey! Is there anybody here?  
  
Jeb: Come on, don't be a chicken, we're all here, but the problem now is, we all trapped in the strange blue portal.  
  
AK: Um, let me find the way to escape.  
  
Jeb: hey it's impossible! It's too dark in here, I can't even see my hand. Can you see AK?  
  
AK: Hey! I got it! I found the exit!  
  
Jeb: Wow, you surely have a pair of sharp eyes…  
  
AK: Come on. Uh! We forget about Bal and Jill!  
  
Bal: Hey, Jill's with me! Don't worry, she feels a little bit better now!  
  
AK: Quickly! The exit is getting smaller!  
  
They successfully escaped. They found that they're in a strange, empty hospital. The beautiful nurses and the old doctor had already escaped from the strange portal. They had been waiting AK, Jeb, Bal and Jill for 3 minutes and 45 seconds. Jill pointed her finger to a tiny, small sign. There were some sentences on the sign. Jeb read it loud.  
  
Jeb: Don't smoke in the hospital – Raccoon City Hospital.  
  
Jill: Shit! We're now in the Raccoon City! 


	2. Chapter 2 - Carlos!

CHAPTER 2: CARLOS!  
  
AK: Oh! Is this the new city that was officially opened last month by the President?  
  
Jill: No, it's an old city that has been infected by a biochemical virus. Carlos and I had bombed this f*cking city 2 years ago.  
  
AK: Um, which sounds scary. By the way, I just called Carlos for about 3 minutes ago, but there were no answer given. It's weird because Carlos always answers the phone.  
  
Suddenly, a man stepped inside the room with his heart ripped out. He fell and died right in front of Bal. Bal screamed like a girl. He's one of the S.W.A.T. Mercenaries.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha! You all are my next victims! Get ready to face your worst nightmare!" A voice said.  
  
"Kook!" The old doctor was smashed on his bald head with some kind of metal claws and flied away 10 meters and smashed a nude poster that was hanging on the concrete wall. The doctor's head was broke into 322645 tiny pieces of flesh, bone and brain with only one hit.  
  
AK: Shit! If the doctor's gone, we wont get any medical treatment if we injured or something…  
  
Jill: Come out here and fight with us! Now! Come out here you coward!  
  
Jeb: Yeah! Come and fight like a man!  
  
Bal: I know why you don't want to come out… YOU HAVE NO BALLS AND RED HEAD! Yeah! That's right!  
  
"POW!" A great punch blown on Bal's face. He now flied 50 meters away and crushed into 67 concrete walls but luckily, he survived but he took a lot of damage. His head badly injured.  
  
AK: Shit! You just blew my friend out! Now I blow your face, you Son Of A B*tch!  
  
AK wanted to blow the monster's head but he stopped.  
  
AK: Carlos? Is that you Carlos? How did you get here?  
  
Jill: The portal must have sucked you like it did to us…  
  
Jeb: Carlos you changed! Did the virus infect you?  
  
Jill: Carlos, please stop this fights now…  
  
"POW!" Jeb flied 2 meters back. The infected Carlos can't remember anything anymore. AK was getting pissed off, he kicked the infected Carlos's balls until its bleed. The monster struggled alone on the floor. His balls crushed into 144532 tiny pieces of testis and some sperms came out. Jill told AK to stop hitting him but the monster suddenly punched her head with no mercy and she fainted. AK was getting more pissed off again and kicked the monster's balls 765 times until the monster died. Jill woke up after a few seconds. She saw Carlos' dead body lying on the floor.  
  
Jill: You… you killed him! You monster!  
  
AK: He can't remember anything and he can't even remember you!  
  
Jill: …  
  
AK: I'm sorry. That's the best I can do.  
  
Jill: No, It's not your fault, I know its UMBRELLA'S! They created those viruses. 


	3. Chapter 3 - Enter The Other World

CHAPTER 3: ENTER THE OTHER WORLD  
  
Jill: Carlos has been infected and died. Jeb and Bal injured badly and can't move any of their cells.  
  
AK: If I had some potions or herbs…  
  
Jill: Shh… Can you hear that? The portal is coming back!  
  
AK: I've got an idea! I'll go and enter the portal again to call some help while you stay here. You can take care of Jeb and Bal with some help from the nurses.  
  
Jill: Um… do you have any weapon to defend yourself? I have only a 'H&K Glock 20'.  
  
AK: I don't need any weapon… I can defend myself only with my bare hands.  
  
1 Jill: OK… Take care… please don't die…  
  
AK: Heh, you can count on me… trust me!  
  
AK quickly ran towards the portal and dived into the portal like the hero he was. He escaped from the portal and came to a strange place but it was very peaceful and quiet. The world was 90% covered by water. AK saw a town on his left hand. He went there and saw many people with strange dressing and style.  
  
Suddenly, a cute female teenager came close to him and asks him.  
  
Teenage girl: Hey, where are you from? You look strange from others.  
  
AK looked at his 'Nike' branded T-shirt.  
  
AK: (Is this strange?) ( AK talks alone.  
  
Teenage girl: Um… I gonna go. Bye…  
  
AK: (Hmm…? Why is she walks that fast?)  
  
AK's belly started to sing the 'In The End' song and that means he's starving. He wanted to take his wallet but it's gone. He checked his entire pocket for his wallet, it's really² gone.  
  
AK: (Argh! The girl, she took my wallet!)  
  
He ran as fast as he could to catch the cute teenage girl up. After he ran for about 2 kilometers, he stopped running. His belly sang very loud. Suddenly, the girl came to him and gave his wallet back.  
  
AK: You stole my wallet!  
  
Rikku: No I didn't, I saw you drop your wallet on the floor, so I picked it up for you.  
  
AK: Urm… Oh thanks. Sorry I scolded you.  
  
Rikku: It's okay. Urm… if you don't mind, would you come to my house? Your dress is very strange… You can take my father's clothes.  
  
AK: Urm… I'm starving now.  
  
Rikku: I'll make my own secret recipe for you.  
  
AK: Uh… OK!  
  
So AK went to Rikku's house. After AK changed his clothes, he ate a lot.  
  
Teenage girl: How's the meal?  
  
AK: This is the best meal I ever had.  
  
Teenage girl: He, he… Thanks. Oh, where are you from?  
  
AK: Kuala Lumpur.  
  
Teenage girl: Huh? Where's that?  
  
AK: Malaysia.  
  
Teenage girl: I never heard that name before… Oh, and what's your name?  
  
AK: Call me AK or K.  
  
Teenage girl: I'm Rikku.  
  
AK: Rikku, are there any fighters here? My friend and I need help.  
  
Rikku: Everybody is a fighter here. Where is your friend?  
  
AK: They're at the Raccoon City. Some dangerous viruses have infected the city. 2 of my friends were injured badly. I need some medicine to cure them and some weapons to destroy the viruses.  
  
Rikku: Isn't that great? I'll go and help you. Oh, I'll call my friends first. They love to fight.  
  
The next day, AK had promised Rikku and her friends to bring them with him. They're Yuna, Tidus and Squall. Yuna helped to teach AK to use aura (magic powers) while Squall gave him his old short saber to AK. Now they're ready to fight but the portal didn't come so they had to delay their journey.  
  
3 days later, the portal came back. They rushed into the portal and reached Raccoon City. 


	4. Chapter 4 - Z-Virus

CHAPTER 4: Z-VIRUS?  
  
AK searching for Jill and the others all around the hospital. He can't find them anywhere. Suddenly, AK's 'NOKIA 8350 the Butterfly Shaped' hand phone rang.  
  
AK: Hello? Who's there?  
  
Jill: Hey it's me Jill. What took you so long? You have been away for 3 days!  
  
AK: I'm sorry, the strange portal didn't come. Where have you been? I searched you all around the hospital.  
  
Jill: Yesterday, 98 zombies attacked us, so we ran to a big hotel. Now we're at the hotel.  
  
AK: How's Jeb and Bal?  
  
Jill: They're getting better.  
  
AK: OK, you wait at the hotel. I'll come with my friends. Urm… What's the hotel's name?  
  
Jill: It's 'Raccoon City 5 Stars Great Hotel'.  
  
AK: OK! I'll rush there… Bye  
  
Jill: Hurry up, OK?  
  
AK turned his hand phone off. They're rushed to the hotel that was 9 kilometers, 34 meters, 54 centimeters and 2 millimeters away. Suddenly on the way, There were 764 zombies walking in front of them.  
  
Rikku: Urm… we've got a big problem here.  
  
AK: Shit these zombies!  
  
Tidus: We can do nothing except to fight them.  
  
AK came in front and raised his short saber in the air. Then he shouted, "Katana skill!" He then moved forward and slashed 438 zombies' head.  
  
Yuna: Hehe… 'Katana' skill was the class A power and he can do it after I teach him only once. He's a fast learner.  
  
AK: Hey! Come on and help me! Don't just look!  
  
Rikku: Uh OK!  
  
Squall: Come on!  
  
They helped AK to fight the zombies. They achieved the victory after Yuna summoned a GF, Shiva and wiped all the zombies off. But then, 2 monsters that look like Nemesis came. These new monsters were cleverer than Nemesis. Suddenly, a punch from a monster landed on Tidus face. His nose bled same as his mouth.  
  
AK was shocked. Then another monster slapped Squall till 12 of his teeth came out. After the monster slapped Squall, AK was thrown away till he crashed on a thick, very thick wall and his chest bone broke. Blood bruised out from AK's body. Yuna's arm was broken while Rikku's leg broke. He looked at the monsters. The monsters were choking Tidus.  
  
Monster: Aha… feels the new power of 'Z-Virus'!  
  
The monster gave Tidus the 'Z-Virus'. Suddenly, Tidus evolved into a monster. He screamed in pain while the monsters laughed loudly.  
  
AK: (Tidus! He turned into a monster like Carlos was! Now I know why Carlos turned into a monster! These monsters had infected the 'Z-Virus' to him too!) 


	5. Chapter 5 - AK's Mystery

CHAPTER 5: AK's MYSTERY.  
  
The monsters started to infect Yuna too. Suddenly, there were some powers summoning AK to stand and fight back. He stood on his feet and walked towards the monsters. His eyes were like burning fire.  
  
AK: Stop it! Now!  
  
AK shouted those words to the monsters. The monsters let go off Yuna and turned. They looked at AK. AK looked at the 4 meters high monsters fiercely. The monsters laughed and started to punch him. AK dodged the attack and slashed their hands 6 times. Now, it's AK's turn to laugh. The monsters can't infect viruses anymore because they used their hand to transfer the virus. Then AK attacked them with a great power.  
  
AK: 'Mad Jackal moves!'  
  
He defeated the monsters with only 2 slashes. Yuna surprised because she didn't teach AK the 'Mad Jackal Moves' and she didn't even know about the move.  
  
Yuna: (I think I heard this move's name somewhere. I must solve AK's mystery.) 


	6. Chapter 6 - Goodbye Tidus and Squall...

CHAPTER 6: GOODBYE TIDUS AND SQUALL…  
  
AK: Yuna! Can you cure them? They're injured badly.  
  
Yuna: Oh, OK.  
  
Yuna cured herself and all of them with Curaga. Squall gets his teeth back, Rikku's broken leg was cured, and AK's broken chest bone cured too, while Tidus died with his sword stabbed on his chest. He killed himself because he can't suffer the pain anymore.  
  
They finally reached the hotel. Jill waited them for 4 hours 23 minutes and 12 seconds. Jill recorded it on her 'G-Shock Stop Watch'. They greeted each other while AK visited Bal and Jeb at room 206, on the 2nd floor.  
  
When AK came into the room, he saw Bal and Jeb were wrestling with the nurses. Bal did the 'Stone Cold Stunner' while Jeb did the 'People's Elbow' on the nurses' breasts. AK thought they're playing but they're not. The nurses had turn into zombies. AK helps Bal and Jeb and slashed the nurses with his saber.  
  
Jeb: Huh that was close. Thanks.  
  
AK: Are you 2 all right?  
  
Bal: We're all right but my hand still hurts.  
  
AK: Whom the hell told you to make the infected Carlos pissed?  
  
Jeb: Heheh…  
  
AK: Come on, Yuna can cure you.  
  
Bal: Yuna? Who's that?  
  
Jeb: Is she cute or pretty?  
  
AK: Argh! Stop babbling. Come and follow me!  
  
Suddenly, the door opened by some one. It's Squall. He came and walked 3 steps towards Bal and fell. His back was ripped out…  
  
AK: Who the hell did this?  
  
Squall: Zom… Zombies…  
  
Jeb: Where's the others?  
  
Squall: R… They R… Ran away…  
  
Bal: Hold on, there.  
  
Squall: AK, pleas…please take this…gun blade wit…with you. You're the on…only one who k…knows how to u…use it. Never l…let the e…evil use this g…gun blade or this w…world will…  
  
Squall died in front of them. AK took Squall's gun blade.  
  
AK: Rest in peace my friend. I won't let the evil touch this gun blade.  
  
AK, Jeb and Bal went out the room door. 


	7. Chapter 7 - Bomb?

CHAPTER 7: BOMB?  
  
They saw a group of zombies, right after they went out. The zombies were cleverer than the past. They're using weapons like Colt M4A1 Carbine, 'AK- 47s Assault Rifle', 'Steyr Aug' and 'Al-Artic Warfare Magnum' (AWP).  
  
Jeb: Where the hell did they get the weapons?  
  
Bal: Urm, I have no idea. Maybe they have it from the Military Headquarters.  
  
AK: Don't worry I have the 'Leon Heart' with me…  
  
Jeb: And where the hell did you get it?  
  
AK: Squall gave it to me.  
  
Bal: Isn't there any extra for me?  
  
AK: I don't know. Ah, don't waste time. Time doesn't wait for us.  
  
Bal: Show us the power will you?  
  
AK: My pleasure… 'Lightning Magnum Shot!'  
  
AK swiped off the zombies with some lightning power. Bal and Jeb tilted with their mouth open drooling because they didn't see anything like that before. AK felt proud of himself.  
  
Jeb: Where did you learn the move?  
  
AK: Find Yuna. She can teach you.  
  
Bal: What are we waiting for? Let's find her.  
  
They walked slowly towards the elevator. Jeb pressed the elevator's button and the elevator's door opened. The elevator was dark and smelled like someone's just farted in there. However, they entered the smelly elevator and went to the basement floor. On the 1st floor, the elevator stopped. Bal was scared and pissed in his pants.  
  
Bal: Why has the elevator stopped?  
  
AK: I think it's going to fall down…  
  
Jeb: Hey! Don't say that.  
  
AK: No I'm serious, this elevator sounds weird.  
  
Bal: Well? Let get out of here!  
  
The elevator's started to move. Bal suddenly farted loudly and smelly in the elevator. The elevator fell down too fast like the 'AK-47's bullet' (7.62mm). The elevator crushed on the basement floor.  
  
Jeb: Am I still alive?  
  
Bal: We're saved! Thank god…  
  
AK: Hey, you two must thank me for saving your life.  
  
Jeb: You saved us? Bullshit! How did you save us?  
  
AK: I used the 'Anti Gravity Barrier' to prevent us from falling down.  
  
Bal: What aura (magic power) did Yuna teach you?  
  
AK: She just taught me how to use the gravity, lightning and fire aura.  
  
Bal: Oh… Can you blow this elevator's door up?  
  
AK: No! If I blow this door, we'll be barbecued.  
  
Jeb: Huh, let me do it.  
  
Jeb kicked the door and the door opened. Bal felt 'gay' (happy) and went out from the elevator quickly. AK heard something.  
  
AK: Hey, I heard beeping sound.  
  
Jeb: Maybe it's your hand phone.  
  
AK: No, it couldn't be. I had turned my hand phone off. The beeps were like the C4 sound.  
  
Jeb: Hey! Footsteps, I hear running footsteps… hide now!  
  
AK and Jeb hid themselves behind a very large vase but Bal didn't. He jumped around like a stupid monkey (even monkeys don't jump around in hospital). Jeb went out from his hideout and kicked Bal's ass.  
  
Jeb: Hey! Someone's coming and you still can jump around? Stupid piglet!  
  
AK: Hey, the sound is coming closer. Hide yourself quickly!  
  
They wait with patient. Suddenly, there were sound like 'PROOT! PRET! FUT²!' heard. That was the sound of Bal's fart. The sound was very loud and heard by Jill. She stopped running.  
  
Jill: Hey! Why are you hiding? Are you playing 'Hide and Seek'?  
  
AK: Jill? Squall said you ran away.  
  
Jill: Rikku and Yuna ran away but I don't. I hid myself under the 'information counter's' table. I saw some zombies planted some C4s here.  
  
Bal: What?  
  
Jill: Can't you see? C4 was planted everywhere.  
  
Jeb and Bal: What? Are you serious?  
  
Jill: Yes, look around you stupid jackass.  
  
Every mast has a C4 planted on it. There's 60 seconds left before the bomb will explode. Bal defecated in his pants because he's too scared.  
  
Bal: What are we waiting for? Let's scram!  
  
Jeb: Hey, Bal! Are you defecated? You smell like shit!  
  
Jill: Hey, come on! 30 seconds left!  
  
They sprinted out from the hotel like the 'Concord' airplane. While Bal was running, Jeb saw Bal's green shit went out from the bottom of his pants. Jill and AK hid themselves behind a big tractor while Jeb and Bal hide themselves behind a big smelly garbage truck. "POW!" The bomb exploded and the hotel crushed into 45667 big pieces of concrete and glasses. 


	8. Chapter 8: Ambush!

CHAPTER 8: AMBUSH!  
  
Jill: Huh that's close.  
  
AK: Yeah, it's lucky we found this tractor.  
  
Jill: OK, where's our next destination?  
  
  
  
AK took out a map from his pocket. It's the New Raccoon City map. He found the map on the 'Information Counter' table.  
  
AK: Next destination, S.T.A.R.S. headquarter.  
  
Jill: What are we going to do there?  
  
AK: You can call for help from the Military Headquarter and the Police Department.  
  
Jill: We need a train to go there.  
  
AK: Oh, yes, there's a railway station shown on this map. Oh, we must tell our plan to Yuna and Rikku. We can't leave them alone in this fucking city. Where are they?  
  
Jill: I'm sorry, I don't know where they were. We were separated when the zombies ambush us.  
  
While they were babbling about the map and sexes, Nemesis came with some zombies. They ambushed Jill and co. (Jill and her friends) from the hospital's roof. The zombies jumped off the roof like falling monkeys.  
  
Jill: Ambush! Take cover!  
  
AK: Let me finish them… 'Leon Heart skill, Extra High Gravity!'  
  
Nothing happened. AK used his power for lot of times. He's now out of energy.  
  
Bal: AK! What's happening?  
  
AK: I'm out of my energy!  
  
They're attacked seriously. AK and Jill killed 8 zombies but Jeb and Bal still hid themselves behind the smelly garbage truck because they're not armed. Bal suddenly got an idea after he saw a flask of petrol beside a 'Suzuki Escudo Peak Pikes Version' racecar. He took an empty bottle from the trash bin then he filled the bottle with the petrol he found and closed the bottle with his ripped shirt. He threw the bottle after Jeb light up the shirt with his 'Cricket Nylon Body' lighter.  
  
Bal: Fire in the hole!  
  
Jeb: Grenade! Take cover!  
  
'POW!' They did it. They burned all the zombies down. Some of the zombies were burned in their private organs (E.g. – testis, vagina and breast) and some of them were naked because their clothes were burned up. AK, Jeb, Bal and Jill were very happy.  
  
Bal: We did it!  
  
Nemesis: Ha, ha, ha… not yet my friend. That was only a platoon of them. I have 13 battalions more!  
  
AK and Jill: What?  
  
Nemesis: Ha, ha… this is the end of you all!  
  
Zombies attacked again. Now, the zombies attacked them from three ways, from the hospital, from the roof and from the Raccoon City Park besides the hospital. Now it's more serious, they used weapons and grenades. AK was shot trough his belly with a Colt M1602 Carbine Model 723. Jill's hand was bleeding because some 6mm S.P.I.W. (Special Purpose Individual Weapon) bullets shoot her. Bal and Jeb killed 3 zombies by throwing the petrol in the flask and burn them with Jeb's 'Cricket Nylon Body' lighter.  
  
Jill: Retreat!  
  
They retreat and went to the Raccoon City Clock Tower. Nemesis expensed the zombies Pizza Hut's 'Hawaiian Delights' because of the victory. Meanwhile, from the clock tower, Jill and co. went to the railway station. 


End file.
